


Two Crits Don't Always Make a Right (Especially the Failures)

by skyGaia



Category: Original Work
Genre: D&D, Don't copy to another site, Gen, Humor, Inspired by that one tumblr comic and also a prompt on SV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:41:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23339320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyGaia/pseuds/skyGaia
Summary: Inspired by a tumblr comic and a prompt for the SufficientVelocity Flash Fiction Event (which this has not been posted on). Prompt is as follows:Origin: AgnosticGenre/Mood: Comedy/HumorPrompt: Two warring armies and their respective leaders meet on the battlefield for one final skirmish. However, the battle ends... differently than originally anticipated.





	Two Crits Don't Always Make a Right (Especially the Failures)

**Author's Note:**

> Haven't posted this on SV. Don't know if I'm going to, I'm a bit nervous about posting any of my work on that site. But please take this in their stead, AO3...!
> 
> (Also, I've finally gotten inspiration for a one-shot! I've been meaning to do another one for a while, and this was the perfect opportunity.)
> 
> Edit: Also, if anyone has a link to the tumblr comic I'm talking about (the one with the orc and the human, you know the one) please give me a link so I can throw it up here and give it the recognition it deserves. It's probably better than my take, anyway.

Andre looked down at the dice with an expression full of despair and utter defeat.

Josefina was still howling with laughter.

Edwin was holding his head in his hands and, from the sound of it, trying very hard not to laugh as well.

Mandy, the DM, looked just as hopeless as Andre.

“I spent so, so long planning for this epic fight,” Mandy said, eyes flicking over to Andre, “and you just ruined it with two nat ones.”

“I know, Mandy,” Andre said, his voice barely a whisper. “I _know_.”

“How are you even going to _roleplay_ this?” Edwin asked, lowering his hands so that his eyes could be seen, still hiding the stupid grin on his face. “I mean. _Dude._ ”

Andre sighed, running a hand through his short, natural curls. “I’ll think of something…”

Meanwhile, Josefina was still too breathless to do much of anything. Mandy gave up on her entirely and tried to spin the scene.

***

The countries of Ergwald and Mircelt, on the brink of war with one another, miraculously managed to avoid it, through the act of one courageous hero. As the chosen ones of Ergwald took to the battlefield, giving a rousing speech to their men, the bardic half-elf of the party inexplicably strode forth and met with the enemy commander.

And then he seduced them.

The war was cancelled in the span of time it took for the half-elf to do so. And thus, the two kingdoms were saved from mutual destruction.

So goes the tale of Aldric the Sultry.


End file.
